Switch
by jaderaid
Summary: .:DISCONTINUED:.
1. The Sweepstakes

**A/N: a funny story I thought of while waiting for a Little League baseball game to start. I'm going to be strange and make people the age I want them to be so it all fits. In this fic, it takes place between TPM and AotC. Anakin is 14, Boba is 10, and Barriss is 11. How do I pull that off? Ha, like I can figure that out! So sue me.**

**Disclaimer**: All characters belong to ME! ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME-ME! and that George Lucas guy too, I guess... :P

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Padawan Anakin Skywalker sat on the couch watching television in their quarters in the Jedi Temple. More accurately, they were watching 'Trading Spaces' on TLC.

"I don't know why you like this show, Anakin."

"It's a good show."

"I want to watch the X-Files."

"That's too bad."

"Give me the remote, Anakin."

"No!"

"Stop being childish and give me that remote!" Obi-Wan lunged at his apprentice across the couch.

"Now who's being childish?" Anakin taunted, waving the remote just out of reach.

"Fine," Obi-Wan made a small gesture at the television.

"I don't think you're supposed to use the Force to change the channel, Master," Anakin noted. He then used the remote to change the channel back just in time for a commercial.

It was a red screen that showed mailing information and a website. An overly cheerful voice over asked, "How would you like to be on intergalactic television? Live in someone else's shoes for a month? Now, with TLC's new show, Trading Families, you'll get to see what another being across the galaxy does for a month! Just send a short paragraph about yourself to the address on your screen, or go onto our website and fill out the application form. Must be eighteen or younger to enter."

Anakin turned to his Master and opened his mouth wide.

"No, Anakin."

"Why?"

"You have Jedi studies to attend to."

"It's just a month! Please, can I at least enter? It's not like I'm gonna win or anything," the fourteen-year-old pouted.

"Alright, fine. But I have a bad feeling about this..."

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

"Dad, did you see that!" An excited Boba Fett sat up straighter on the couch. "Can I-"

"No, Boba," his father, Jango Fett answered.

"Why?"

"Do you think I want to live with somebody else for the next month? Uh-uh, not gonna happen."

"Please? It's not like I'm gonna win or anything..." Boba looked with big brown eyes at his father.

"Okay," Jango conceded. "But I have a bad feeling about this..."

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

"Now look what you've done, Anakin!" Obi-Wan held a letter in his hand. The Master and the apprentice were in Kenobi's room, Anakin sitting on the bed.

"I'm sorry, Master."

"You're going to go live with-"

"YEAH! I WON!" Anakin stood up and started jumping on Obi-Wan's bed. "WHOO-HOO!"

"You're going to live with a bounty hunter named Jango Fett."

Anakin was so shocked that he lost concentration and landed with an "Oomph!" on the bed. "A bounty hunter?"

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

Boba fell out of the co-pilot's chair on the _Slave I_. "A Jedi?"

"Someone called Obi-Wan Kenobi," Jango said, staring at the letter with distaste. "And I'm stuck with some pussy called Anakin Skywalker."

"Yeah, well you've only got one Jedi! I'm going to have to be with a whole _temple_ of them!"

"And who wanted to enter this contest, Boba?"

Silence, then-

"Oops."

A/N: sorry this wasn't very funny, and also rather out-of-character, but hey! If you made it this far, why not stick around and read the next chapter?


	2. AHHHHH!

**A/N: I think Anakin is a whining pansy in AotC and RotS, so if that reflects in this fic, it's because I don't like Anakin very much. I am also making Boba 15 now because I'm the author and I can do things like that. Enjoy the Anakin-bashing!**

**Riderazzo: **_:falls to knees:_ Thank GOD Hayden didn't get the part of Boba! No offense to him, but I think Daniel What's-his-name played a GREAT Boba in AotC, and I wouldn't have it any other way! I think Anakin is going to, well... piss his pants. And Boba... well let's say he won't hold with some of the Jedi philosophies...

**The Greatest Boba Fett Fan: **I couldn't agree with you more! I think you're going to enjoy this chapter...

**stabler99: **glad you liked it!

**A/N: BOBA IS NOW 15! plus, the longer the reviews you give me, the longer each chapter will be! (and most likely more insane!) Okay, I'll shut up now.**

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

"I'll pick you up in a month, Anakin," Obi-Wan said. He stood on the landing platform, leaning against the sleek silver starship they had borrowed from the Senate.

Anakin hoisted his duffel on his shoulder and looked back nervously. "Aren't you coming with me?"

"You can do it, Anakin. Consider it part of your training."

"But I don't wanna go! He's a bounty hunter!"

"And you're a Jedi, as you frequently remind me."

"Please come with me?"

"Are you scared, Anakin?"

"No!"

"Then go on," Obi-Wan made a shooing gesture.

Hesitantly, Anakin complied, walking away from the landing platform and entering the turbo-lift. He looked at his datapad and frowned. "How am I supposed to find this Sithspawn, anyway?" The address was on the pad, but hell if Anakin could find it!

After a minute or so of wandering around like a mental idiot, Anakin finally got the nerve to ask for directions.

"Can you tell me how to get to Jango Fett's apartment?" he asked a boy about his age with dark brown hair wearing a blue and silver jumpsuit.

"Yep," the boy answered, looking up then continuing on his way.

"Will you tell me where it is?"

"Why?"

"Because I have to go there."

"Why?"

Anakin opened his mouth and suddenly felt foolish. What was he supposed to say? _'I entered a contest and have to live with him'_? He decided to do something much simpler. "You will take me to Jango now," he said, waving his hand.

The boy snorted. "You must be the Jedi. Great. Are all you lot as stupid as you are?"

"What?" Anakin demanded.

"Down one more floor, second door on your left, stupid. That's what the datapad says."

"How'd you know that?"

"Because you're obviously the idiot who's going to take my place for the next month." The boy shook his head in disbelief and entered the turbo-lift to get up to the landing platform.

Anakin stuck his tongue out at the boy's back, then followed the directions he had been given.

-xXx-

"Master Kenobi?" a voice asked.

Obi-Wan looked down to see the same boy whom Anakin had stopped in the hall. "Yes?"

"I'm Boba Fett."

"Are you ready to go?"

"In a minute. I think you're going to want to see what happens."

Obi-Wan shrugged and leaned against the ship. He was in no hurry.

-xXx-

_I found it!_ Anakin cheered to himself as he hit the buzzer by the door.

Jango Fett opened the door, clad in full armor. "What is it?" he demanded, voice sounding synthesized though the helmet.

Anakin stood with his mouth open for a second. "AHHHHHHHHH!" he shrieked, running as fast as he could back for the landing platform and the safety of his Master. "AHHHHHHHHH!" Anakin dashed onto the landing platform and wrapped his arms around his Master. "AHHHHHHHHH!"

Boba and Obi-Wan looked at each other, then back at Anakin and burst out laughing.

Boba grinned at the older Jedi. _Maybe this won't be so bad after all._


	3. Breaking things is fun

**Artemis1000: **glad you liked it, I did to! By the way, have you ever reviewed any of my Andromeda fics? (Just wondering)

**Riderazzo: **Well... Okay. I'll try no to make _too_ much fun of him. It's just so tempting... :P

**The Greatest Boba Fett Fan: **once again, you took the words STRAIGHT out of my mouth! Boba and Obi don't have anything to do with Anakin being miserable; he kinda brings it down on himself, don't cha think? Ha, now I can tell my friend that I'm not the ONLY person in love with Boba. :P (ButI must say, your screenname is MINE! Mwa-ha-ha!)

**A/N: I'm going to have, um... a fangirls following for poor Boba in the Jedi Temple. If anyone out there reading this wants to be a Jedi completely in love with our favorite Buckethead, just give me a name and race for your Jedi apprentice.**

**I'm way too easily amused.**

-xXx- 'SWITCH'© OFFICIAL SWEEPSTAKES RULES –xXx-

Any and/or all participation of the winner(s) that results in personal injury cannot be attributed to The Learning Channel. Any and/or laws, infringements, or rules that are broken during the month are the responsibility of the winner(s). In short, anything that doesn't turn out the way it was supposed to, the winner(s) cannot blame us (the contest designer, beta testers, and the reviewers).

The object of the contest 'Switch' is to see if the winner(s) can exist as another for a month, then fool a panel of judges into believing that the winner(s) in fact, is the true (Jedi, bounty hunter, pilot, etc.)

If the winner(s) is not selected by the judge as the fake, they will win ONE HUNDRED MILLION CREDITS, payable to the winner(s).

ANY AND/OR ALL OTHER RULES ARE SPECIFIED ON OUR WEBSITE.

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

We'll have to drop the skiff at the Senatorial landing pad," Obi-Wan told Boba. "Then catch an air taxi to the Temple." He noticed that Boba was staring straight ahead, giving no thought to his words. "Boba?"

"I have to be trained as a Jedi," Boba said in shock. "I thought I just lived there."

"This is the first time you've read the rules, isn't it," Obi-Wan said sympathetically. "Anakin hasn't read them yet either. Don't worry about it. Even though you have no ability to touch the Force, that will not be a consideration."

Boba scoffed. "I can beat any Jedi without the 'Force'," he said confidently.

"Taking into consideration the fact that Anakin will _never_ be able to pass as a bounty hunter, can we split your winnings?" Obi-Wan asked hopefully. "50/50?"

"No way!"

"I _am_ going to be training you."

"90/10," Boba considered.

"I can also set you up to lose so you don't get anything."

"Fine, 80/20 _if_ Skywalker doesn't win. Take it or leave it."

"Deal." Obi-Wan and Boba shook, Obi-Wan remembering the first time he had met Anakin for some reason.

"What would a Jedi do with 20 million credits, uh, sir?" Boba asked curiously.

"Obi-Wan," the Jedi Master corrected. "I don't like being called sir."

"Well, what are you going to do with the money?"

Obi-Wan grinned. "Whatever I want..."

"I've been wondering something..."

"What?"

"Is your apprentice, by any chance, gay?"

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

Jango, having removed his armor and peeled Anakin off Obi-Wan and dragged him kicking and screaming back to his apartment, now sat across the table from him.

Anakin picked at his food, trying to hide his utter terror (and failing miserably).

"We start training tomorrow," Jango said gruffly, trying to hide his utter scorn (and failing miserably).

Anakin dropped his fork. "Say _what_!"

Chewing his food, Jango passed a copy of the Sweepstakes rules across the table.

Anakin almost fell facedown in a bowl of linguini. Fortunately he didn't because he saw the capitalized ONE HUNDRED MILLION CREDITS.

"If you win, you're splitting that with me," Jango ordered.

"Na-uh!" Anakin gulped and rapidly changed his mind at the look being directed at him by the bounty hunter. "Uh, 80/20 _if_ your son doesn't win!"

"Fine."

Anakin sighed in relief. He couldn't wait until this was over. "So, um... what's it like being a bounty hunter?"

"Hard."

"Oh. Okay... how long have you been a bounty hunter?"

"None of your business."

Anakin took the hint, and the rest of the meal was completely silent.

"You'll sleep in Boba's room," Jango told the Jedi apprentice, pointing to a room with a closed door. "Don't touch anything."

Hesitantly, Anakin opened the door to find...

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

"This is a mess!" Boba exclaimed, dropping his duffel to the floor amid a sea of droid parts. It had been the middle of the sleep cycle when they had gotten back, so Obi-Wan had simply taken Boba straight to his quarters and given him Anakin's room.

The shelves were almost empty, everything being on the floor. There was a half-assembled droid in one corner, and parts to a dozen others scattered over the bed and the floor.

Obi-Wan groaned. "I _told_ him to clean this before we left!"

Meanwhile, investigating the room, Boba found... a half-eaten sandwich? _How could he live like this!_ Boba thought.

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

_How could he live like this?_ Anakin thought in complete horror as the door hissed shut behind him.

It was... _clean_. There were holo-disks neatly lined up on the shelves in a specific order. There were posters of starfighters on every wall, with delicately crafted models of starships on the tops of the sliver plastisteel shelves.

_Oooo, Nubian_, Anakin reached out the touch the model of the yellow-and-chrome fighter...

and a landing strut fell off.

"Sithspit!" he muttered, looking around for glue. "Now _this_ is why I keep everything all over the floor! I can always find what I'm looking for!"

Finding glue turned out to be a long and tedious process, as Anakin looked though every drawer (there were lots!), on every shelf, and in every bin.

_Idiot!_ Anakin hit himself on the head. _Why don't I just look in the box labeled _Model StuffIt was times like this he understood Obi-Wan's frustration.


	4. RESTRICTED ACCESS? Says who?

**A/N: I'm off to visit New York State for the weekend, so I wanted to get this uploaded ASAP. If it seems a little rushed and pointlessly stupid, review anyway? Please?**

**HaraFett:** ha-ha! yet another person who thinks Anakin is a pussy!

**Artemis1000:** lol, Anakin the bounty hunter! Yes, I think you've reviewed my 'Drom once or twice. I thought I recognized your screenname, but wasn't sure. I am starting to feel a little bad for Jango now, though...

**The Greatest Boba Fett Fan:** oh yeah! I'd be trained by Jango Fett for a hundred mil! Well, Jedi Fangirl Mika, prepare to meet yourself!

**Thanks to all of you for the ginormous reviews! That's why you get such a long chapter! (I may even write another this afternoon because I'm going away.**

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

"I want you to pick a random person on the street and stalk them."

"What?"

Jango sighed in frustration. "I. Want. You. To. Pick. A. Ran-dom. Per-son. Off. The. Street. And. Stalk. Them."

"Why?"

Jango didn't sigh this time. It was more of a rushed exhalation. "To develop stealth, cunning, adaptability, and improvisation."

"Oh. Just pick somebody?"

Jango wanted to wrap his fingers around the scrawny boy's neck and squeeze... "That's what I said, isn't it?"

"Oh yeah..."

"For two hours you will do nothing but follow that one person. I want a full and detailed report on his or her movements, people he or she visited."

"But I don't know anyone's name here."

"Don't be stupid, you moron! Ask around."

"How?"

"Just be your annoy- _normal_ fourteen-year-old self."

"I'm not annoying!" Anakin whined.

Jango put his head in his hands.

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

"I guess you'll attend Anakin's classes, Boba," Obi-Wan said, walking into his room. "I put the schedule on your data- Boba?"

There was no one there.

Unknown to Obi-Wan, early in the morning before anyone was up, Boba had exited his quarters and went to explore the Temple. _It's so freakin' BIG,_ he thought. _I wonder if I'm the only one up._ He had changed into one of Anakin's tunics, but felt ridiculous because Anakin was taller than he was. _I guess it's like a bounty hunt, then. Finding one of these blasted Jedi tunics that actually _fit. It wasn't his fault Anakin was so bloody _tall_.

Wait, what was that? Boba drew into the shadows of a doorway as a janitor rushed past wielding a mop. He didn't know if he would be punished for being out this early. As soon as the pattering footsteps faded away, Boba peeked around the edge. Seeing no one, he walked out from the safety of the overhang-

And walked straight into a Jedi apprentice. The impact knocked both of them to the ground.

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

_I'm bored,_ Anakin thought, sitting at a café and watching his 'target' talking to what seemed to be an old friend. _Stop gibber-jabbering! Wait. I'm being stupid again._

"You must keep going. You are a very busy woman," he muttered.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Gladys, but I'm a very busy woman and have to get on my way." The two Kaminoans said their good-byes, and 'Target' moved on.

Anakin tossed a credit chit on the table as a tip (_It's Jango's money anyway.)_ and followed.

_No way I'm going in there!_ Anakin exclaimed to himself. The Kaminoan was entering a female lingerie store. _Dammit, this is disgusting! Ooh. How would Padmé look in that..._

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

"Please, don' turn me in sir," the apprentice rushed. She was about his age, with dark black hair and indigo facial tattoos across her cheeks. "I just wanted to-"

"Relax," Boba told her, grinning and offering her his hand. "I'm not going to turn you in."

"Thanks. Do I know you? I haven't seen you around the Temple before," the girl said, brushed her hair back.

_Holy Sith! Look at her!_ Boba felt his jaw go slack, and immediately gave himself a mental smack. _Bad Boba! Bad Boba!_ "I'm Boba Fett," he answered. "I'm living with Master Kenobi."

"Oh!" She blushed. "I should have known. I'm Barriss Offee. Are you lost?"

"No!" Boba said defensively. "I'm looking for something."

Barriss resisted the impulse to say: _Looking? Found someone you have, I would say, hmm?_ "What are you looking for? Maybe I can help."

Boba grinned sheepishly and his arms go slack, showing the fabric dangling down past his wrists.

Barriss laughed. "I know exactly where to go," she said, eyes twinkling.

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

_Hey, where'd the woman go?_ Anakin had been busy looking for something to buy Padmé, and his target had abruptly disappeared. _How to find her, how to find her..._

'_Just be your annoy- _normal_ self,'_ Jango had told him.

Anakin smiled. He had a talent for acting younger than his age.

He walked up to a Kaminoan woman and tugged on her shirt. "Nanny?"

She turned around, and Anakin acted embarrassed. "Oh, sorry. You're not my nanny."

"Are you lost, child?" the Kaminoan asked.

"I can't find my nanny!" Anakin whined. "She was right here, and now I don't know where she is!" He looked up hopefully. "Can you tell me where she is?"

"What does she look like, dearie?"

"Well," Anakin took a deep breath. "She was wearing a red and silver dress with some kind of thingy on her head-"

"A pink headdress?"

"Yeah! That's it!"

"She went through there, sweetie," the Kaminoan pointed to a door marked RESTRICTED ACCESS.

"Thank you!" Anakin said joyfully, bounding off. _Dammit_, he thought. _I've really picked it this time._

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

"Mika! Mika, wake up!"

"Eh?" Barriss heard a loud yawn. "Whadda'ya want?"

"Open the door, you lazy Sithspawn!"

As soon as Mika opened the door, she smacked Barriss's arm. "I'm not a Sithspawn!" Mika was a dirty-blonde human, apprentice to Eeth Koth.

"But it woke you up, didn't it?"

"Umm, yeah, so?"

"Shhh! We need your help."

"Who's 'we'?"

"Boba Fett, the bounty hunter!"

"Is he hot?"

"What kind of Jedi are you?" Barriss demanded. "That's a gay question."

"Well, I have my priorities in order."

"Would I have brought him if I didn't think he was hot?"

"Well..."

Boba leaned against the opposite wall, looking like he wasn't listening. But he was. And blushing.

"Is Eeth Koth here?"

"No, Master Koth is on a mission or something. Why?" The fourteen-year-old looked at her quizzically, the word 'hot' having woken her up better than a cup of caf.

"We need you to pick a lock."

"What, did you lock yourself out of your quarters?" Mika sighed. "Again?"

"No! And I only did that once!" Barriss protested.

"One more time than I have!"

"Yeah, well _your_ Master doesn't change the combination every two weeks."

"Son of the Sith, is that him?" Mika looked wide-eyed over Barriss's shoulder.

"No," Barriss said sarcastically. "That's the new wall decoration Master Yoda put up outside your quarters."

"Really? I'm going to have to thank-"

"Stop being stupid! Of_ course_ that's him!"

"I know. I love messing with you," Mika grinned. "But his clothes don't fit."

"Duh," Boba announced, walking up. "Barriss, this girl isn't helping any. Just point me in the direction and I'll pick the lock myself."

Mika fell to her knees. "I am Mika," she grasped the bottom of his tunic. "I pledge myself to your never-ending service, and-"

Boba looked down at her with a look of almost comical alarm, then up at Barriss. _Help me!_ he mouthed.

Barriss was shaking with silent laughter.

"-will always be at your beck and call, no matter what you require of me-"

"Get off me!" Boba pried her grip from his robes. _This girl is insane!_

"As you wish," Mika stood up and bowed.

Boba's eyes widened, and he shot a beseeching look at Barriss.

Barriss cocked her head to the side and froze, like a droid whose power had been cut- the near universal sign of someone whose not using their brain to think.

"Never mind! I'll find it myself!" Boba walked away as fast as he could.

"The supply closet on your left!" Mika called dreamily.


	5. The Ladies Sewing Circle and Big Worms

**A/N: I don't know who's in charge of lightsaber training, so I'm just going to do what I do best: improvise. Bear with me, please!**

**Zealit:** update? again? well, if you promise to review again...

**The Greatest Boba Fett Fan:** your right, Anakin should get his head shot off... but he won't. I still need him... :P

**Christina B:** thanx! review again and you'll get more!

**Riderazzo:** lol, you haven't SEEN weird yet! (unless you know my science teacher... that's an exception!)

**REVIEWS! AS YOUR AUTHORESS QUEEN, I DEMAND REVIEWS! lol, jk, but reviews would give me more inspiration, and therefore more chapters...**

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

The door was probably labeled as RESTRICTED ACCESS for a reason. And that mattered... why?

Anakin grinned tightly. Maybe being a bounty hunter wasn't so bad. He got more action this way. Even if he didn't have the comforting weight of his lightsaber on his belt. Jango had insisted (_Well, ordered was closer)_ that Anakin use a blaster if he had any need for a weapon, so Obi-Wan had taken it back to the Temple. Something about a lightsaber being too conspicuous.

_Now, don't get caught. That would suck very badly._ Anakin took a breath and pushed open the door.

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

"What were you doing?"

"I had to get some clothes."

"Anakin's weren't good enough?"

"They didn't fit."

"You could have asked me in the morning. Now you're going to be late for class."

Boba shrugged. "Oops."

Obi-Wan sighed. "You're acting like Anakin."

That shut Boba up.

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

_Oh, Sith. The Ladies Sewing Circle. That figures._ Anakin almost sighed aloud, but he didn't want to risk making any noise. He surveyed the Kaminoan women, but didn't see his target's fancy pink headdress.

_Why would the sewing meet be behind a restricted access door? Unless there was something else, and the old ladies are simply camouflage..._

_Damn._ Fortunately for Anakin, the ladies were so wrapped up gossiping that it was no trouble to sneak right by and come to another door. It was made of high-quality durasteel, marked with the universal synbol for radiation.

Anakin pushed it open. _Holy sons of Sith in all nine Corellian hells..._

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

After his scolding by Obi-Wan, Boba exited his quarters to attempt to find his classes. He didn't have to look far.

"Bounty hunter," came a call from behind him. It was Barriss Offee. "Come on, I'll walk you to class. I have the same ones as you."

"How do you know?" Boba asked.

She grimaced. "Because you have Anakin's schedule. I'm stuck with him for all my classes."

Boba winced. "Ouch."

She laughed. "It's not that bad. He asks the dumbest questions, though."

Boba laughed with her, and he realized with a start that this was the first time had had laughed with someone his own age. Actually spent time with another human besides his father and Master Kenobi.

Barriss Offee was his first friend.

Then he stopped in the middle of the hall.

"What is it?" Barriss asked, concerned.

"Does Mika have class with us?"

The Jedi laughed again. "No, she doesn't. You might run into her in the hall, though..."

"Oh, _Sith_."

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

Before Anakin was a huge pit that took up almost the whole diameter of the room, with exception for the thin walkway around the edges. The walls were made of dark-colored durasteel and were covered with machinery. Anakin had no idea what the machinery was, but that didn't stop him from inching forward to peer over the edge. The pit tapered like a funnel, so he assumed it must be the support strut for the floating city.

His Padawan braid fell over his shoulder as he leaned farther forward. It encountered some sort of force field over the pit and the ends sizzled. Anakin nearly cried aloud and leaned back as _something_ began to rise out of the depths.

It looked like one of the dianogas found in sewage systems, but _huge_! The worm reared up, and up, and up, looking through the force field straight at Anakin. It opened its mouth and hissed, a bone-chilling sound that sent Anakin scrambling back through the door, sneaking past the Ladies Sewing Circle, through the lingerie store, and back to the Fetts' apartment.

"Those two hours had better be up," Anakin muttered.

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

After sitting through some history classes about the Jedi that everyone else fell asleep during but Boba found quite fascinating, it ws time for the part that he had been dreading.

Lightsabers.

Neeja Halcyon was today's lightsaber training instructor. "I'm putting you in pairs," he announced.

_Great_, Boba thought. He had Anakin's lightsaber, but that didn't mean he knew how to use it. Halcyon assigned him to Barriss, and his heart sunk lower. _Even better. The hot girl gets to whip my ass._

"Padawan Offee, if I may have a word?" Halcyon drew her off to the side and whispered a few words to her.

Her expression soured as she came over to him. "Come on," she ordered.

The training pairs split up into separate rooms. Barriss slammed the door shut and looked at Boba, arms crossed.

"What did I do?"

"_I'm_ stuck teaching you how to _hold_ a lightsaber while the rest of the class is perfecting technique!" She looked like she was about to punch him, then took a deep breath and sighed.

"Sorry. If it helps any, I'm a quick learner."

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

Jango was cleaning his rifle, a task he found relaxing, until a shout disturbed his concentration.

"Big worm!" someone shouted, and Anakin came barreling through the door. "_Big worm!_"

Jango stood up and unwisely walked toward the hall where all the commotion was coming from. "What's going on?" he was going to demand angrily.

All that came out was "Wwhhaa!" as Anakin crashed into him, knocked the big strong bounty hunter flat on his back, and ran around the apartment.

"BIG WORM!"

**A/N: hopefully this was funny. I'd do more, but I promised myself when finished this chapter I'm going to let myself eat a canoli.**

**By the way: if anyone has any ideas for random hilarity, send them in a review! (yes, this is a shameless way for me to ask for more reviews!) Seriously, ideas are always welcome.**


	6. Pants? Who needs pants?

**A/N: yes, I know they'd normally start out with training sabers. BUT I DON' WANNA! SO I AIN'T GONNA!**

**Flare Conlon: **blow something up? that's brilliant! I'll put that in this chapter!

**Christina B: **Thanx!

**The Greatest Boba Fett Fan:** Ha-ha, kouhouns!

**vegemite:** dirty? Obi-Wan? no, Master Kenobi would _never_ spend money on booze and strippers... would he:P lol, but I HAVE to agree with _The Greatest Boba Fett Fan_: he'll send Ani to a mental institution far, far away! Hunh. I'll think about the congo line, but disco... that has DEFINITE possibilities... maybe when I finally get over the big worm...

**Zealit:** thanx!

**Oh, and one more thing: I HATE MACE WINDU! He KILLED JANGO FETT! THAT IS NOT COOL! NOT COOL AT ALL! but I love Corran Horn, so that's why Neeja is here.**

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

"BIG WORM!" Anakin exclaimed, running in circles around the apartment, mowing down everything in his path.

Jango stood up. "What are you talk- oomph!" Anakin ran into him again. Fett grabbed his arms to hold him still.

Anakin sent a Force-push at him and knocked Jango Fett, the greatest bounty hunter in the galaxy, on his rear for the second time in as many minutes. "_BIG WORM_!"

"Yes, Skywalker, big worm," Jango said patiently, remaining on the floor.

"It was big! I mean, really, really, big!"

"Yes, Skywalker." The kid had to stop running _sometime_. Didn't he?

"BIG WORM!" Anakin looked around frantically. "I need to kill the big worm. Bigwormbigwormbigworm..."

"No, don't touch that!" Jango screamed.

Anakin grabbed a thermal detonator from Fett's armor and laughed maniacally.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Jango lunged at Anakin, wrestled the detonator away, ran to the window, opened it as fast as he could, and threw it out.

One of those flying sea-dragons was unfortunate enough to see it, assume it was something good to eat, and swallow it.

The resulting explosion lit up the city.

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

Jedi Master Mace Windu walked down the lightsaber training hall. He nodded to Neeja Halcyon, then paused. The Corellian Jedi, strangely enough, was sitting and eating a bag of popcorn.

"No, like _this_! Stop being stupid!" came a very un-Jedi-like shout from one of the rooms.

"AHHH!"

Halcyon shrugged as Windu looked at him curiously.

Then: "_Now_ what are you doing!"

Halcyon held aloft his popcorn. "Want some?"

-xXx-

"No, like _this!_ Stop being stupid!" Barriss yelled at poor Boba.

"I'm not trying to!" Boba protested. He gave the saber a half-hearted swing. The tip grazed the belt holding his Jedi tunic, neatly chopping it off. "AHHH!" he dropped the lightsaber.

"_Now_ what are you doing!" Barriss's mouth dropped open.

-xXx- (may I say something? this was the random-idiot's idea, not mine!) –xXx-

Windu had had enough, and opened the door (much to Neeja's disappointment!). "What the-!"

Boba's pants were down around his ankles, revealing his white boxers. They had little images of starfighters attacking a Trade federation core ship.

Halcyon dropped his popcorn as he burst out laughing.

Windu did not find this funny at all. "Padawans Offee and Fett, what is the meaning of this?"

"Uhhh... I'm clumsy?" Boba suggested awkwardly, flushed red with embarrassment.

Halcyon's laughter rang out louder.

Windu gave him the death glare, then turned back to Boba.

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

"Oooh, pretty colors..." Anakin looked out the window.

Jango briefly contemplated knocking the boy from his precarious perch into the ocean below. "Snap _out_ of it, Skywalker!" he shouted instead.

Anakin shook his head and blinked. "What? What happened?"

"You don't remember anything?"

"I guess not." Anakin looked confused.

"You don't remember the big worm?"

"BIG WORM!" Anakin screamed, panic returning to his face as he began to run around the apartment in circles again.

"Nooo!" Jango cried, hitting his head off the wall repeatedly.

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

Halcyon was back with his popcorn, tears of mirth still running down his face. Windu had scolded them about proper saber handling, then stalked off. The best part _had_ to be when Boba...

-xXx-

"Padawan Fett, you should not have been so careless with your lightsaber!"

"With all due respect, Master Windu, you should not have been so careless with your hair!"

**A/N: and this is where I'll be leaving part six. I hope this was funny. (i thought it was!) Reviews are appreciated!**


	7. Plots and target practice

**A/N: my stats thing tells me that I have 460-some hits! That calls for a celebration! _:starts doing combination Ewok/Snoopy dance:_ _:stops, looks around, sees everyone staring: _That wasn't me! Really! Uhhh... LOOK, BOBA! _:dodges out of way of stampeding fangirls:_**

**Flare Colon:** thanx so much! think you could come up with more brilliant ideas like that?

**vegemite:** yes, but Mace should be careful messing with the galaxy's coolest bounty hunter! _:evil laugh:_ ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha _:coughcough:_

**The Greatest Boba Fett Fan:** YOU'RE BRILLIANT! Ha-ha, Mace Windu should have an AFRO! You should be careful saying unguarded statements like that... I may use them for my advantage!

**Fell Dragon:** thanx!

**Oh, and may I say one more thing? JAINA SOLO AND JAGGED FEL BELONG TOGETHER! TROY DENNING IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE AUTHORS AND HE UPS AND BREAKS THEM UP IN 'DARK NEST I: THE JOINER KING'! NOT COOL!**

_**I have spoken.**_

**Oh yeah, one more thing. DID ANYONE WATCH STARGATE: ATLANTIS LAST FRIDAY? I've been searching for an episode summary on the web because I was away and forgot to tape it. could someone either give me a short summary or website where I can geta good one? please? **

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

Jango had Anakin tied to a chair. "You will shut up about the big worm," Jango threatened. "If you do not shut up, I am going to have to feed my pet eel one of your _fingers_." He showed the boy the pliers he had in one hand, using them to make clipping noises.

The eel floating in its tank in the next room over seemed to be grinning hungrily at Anakin.

Anakin contrived his best innocent look. "What big worm? I be good..."

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

Boba ripped a strip of cloth from the bottom of his tunic to tie his pants back where they belonged, denying the Jedi Temple the splendid view that had been on display.

Barriss closed the door, slid down it to the floor, and breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought we were _so_ dead."

"You weren't the one with your _boxers_ on display," Boba said irritably. "Can you still hear Master Halcyon?"

"He's still laughing," Barriss answered, ear pressed against the door. "At least no one else was there besides Masters Halcyon and Windu."

"I don't like that Windu. He gives me the creeps, like he wants to kill my dad or something."

"Why would he want to do that?"

"I don't know. It was just a feeling," Boba shrugged. "Oh well."

"Do you know how to hold the saber yet?" Barriss asked, sighing.

"Yeah!" Boba held it, right hand above his left on the hilt. "Like this."

"You remember right guard position?"

"Uhhh..." Boba hesitantly ignited Anakin's blade and held it with the blade diagonally across his body, tip pointing toward his left shoulder.

"No," Barriss sighed. "That's left guard position."

"Oh." The lightsaber thrummed as he moved it to the other side.

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

Anakin was terrified of both Jango Fett, and the big worm. But the big worm was in a giant forcefield-shielded underground pit. Jango, on the other hand, was _very_ close to him, and obviously very pissed off. SO Anakin made a decision.

_Screw the big worm! Jango Fett is much scarier!_

"Do you know how to use a blaster?"

"Point and shoot. How hard can it be?" Anakin had a trace of his old cocky confidence back now.

Jango grinned. "Let's see what you can do, then, flyboy."

-xXx-

"You will hit the target with the laser rifle." Jango was in full Mandalorian armor. "It is one thousand meters from where you are now. If you do penetrate the target with a killing blow, you will move on to other targets, range increasing by 500 meters. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Anakin said grudgingly. _Why sniper rifles! Why couldn't we start with something a lot closer? Like pistols!_

The targets were shaped like different beings, alien and human. There were eight of them. The first target was a Bith, followed by an Ithorian, a Wookiee, a human, a Twi'lek, a Niemodian, another human, a droid, and a Zabrak. The target shaped like a Zabrak had some sort of furry creature draped over it, but the Padawan paid it no mind.

Anakin was lying prone on the metal ground, rifle against his shoulder. They were on the _Slave I_'s landing pad because no where else was big enough without attracting attention.

"Begin," Jango ordered. As a second thought, he added: "And don't hit my ship."

Anakin aimed for the Bith's elongated head, but as he pulled the trigger, the recoil knocked his aim up and he only barely grazed the top.

Jango knelt on the ground next to him. "When you prepare to fire, always exhale; it will be easier to stay still, which will improve your aim. Until you learn to adjust for the recoil, aim for a slightly larger area on the body. For instance," he gestured at the Bith, "Bith have only one lung. A direct hit in the upper abdomen at this range will pierce the lung. Unless there is a bacta tank within a meter or so, the hit will be a fatality.

"Once you learn to adjust for the recoil, you'll begin to do so automatically as your sniping skills improve. You'll automatically aim lower to be able to score hits on critical areas like the head and neck."

Jango paused to make sure the boy was getting everything. "Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Anakin replied, looking through the scope.

"You're going to have to learn from your mistakes. I've given you the advice you need. The rest is up to you." Jango stood began to walk to the other side of the landing platform. He stood next to the Zabrak target and stroked the furry creature on top, then motioned for Anakin to begin.

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

"I still don't like that Mace Windu guy," Boba was muttering later as he and Barriss ate lunch together.

Barriss's eyes lit up. "We should _so_ get back at him."

Boba looked up. "Can we do that?"

Barriss grinned. "We'd need to enlist the help of an expert code-slicer, though."

Boba didn't like that grin. "And who is the best slicer you know?"

"Mmm," Barriss pretended to think about it. "Mika."

"No!"

"Face it, she'll do anything for you," Barriss teased.

"No," Boba ordered. _Sith, I sound like Dad._ Then he gave a mental shrug. _Well, that's a good thing._ "That's not even funny," he continued. "I don't want her anywhere near me!"

"Okay, okay!" Barriss held up her hands in surrender, laughing. "Truth is, I'm not so bad myself. Nothing too complex, and I'll be fine."

Boba nodded. His father had taught him the basics of code slicing, but it was good to hold some information in reserve. _Say no more than necessary,_ his father always said. _Don't give information freely. _And Barriss knew far too much about him already. But he couldn't stop one fleeting thought from entering his mind.

_Is that a bad thing?_

Boba tuned back into the conversation to hear Barriss saying; "Revenge is not the Jedi way, but-"

"It's only revenge if Baldy is our enemy," Boba pointed out. "_No friends, no enemies, only allies and adversaries_. Windu is our adversary."

Barriss grinned again. "I like the way you think."

Boba returned the grin. _Thanks, Dad_.

**A/N: nope, this chapter was not funny. not funny at all. I don't like it, but I suppose it says what I need it to. and I want my bribe for finishing this chapter. (Yes, I have to promise myself food if I want to finish a chapter! Gimmie a break!) Unfortunately, I seem to have exhausted my supply of canolis to bribe myself with.**

**Anyway, moving on. I need more ideas. My beta readers only tell me 'I don't know' and 'Boba looks cute when he blushes. Do things to make him blush.' I love the congo line, and I'll be doing it next chapter, but now its up to you, the reviewers, to HELP ME! YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!**

**God, I sound like a bad political campaign. But anyway, back to Jaina and Jag:**

**Who do YOU think Jaina Solo should be with? Childhood friend Zekk, or fellow pilot Jagged? Next chapter I'll be giving good/bad points for both of them. So tell me who you'd rather with her, and _why_.**

**Thanx!**


	8. Operation Blue Afro

**A/N: the rating has been bumped up because Jango drops the f-bomb. And Ysalamiri are from Mykrr. **

**vegemite:** well, I like Jag, and that's final! But I understand if you've never read NJO. I love that series! How do you come up with these ideas? I will do the clones, now that I think about it...

**The Greatest Boba Fett Fan:** no, it's not a naked mole-rat:P You'll see... yes, a person from TLC... THAT'S BRILLIANT! I'll fit that in if I can!

**Flare Conlon:** well, you get your wish! Blue Windu makes an appearance!

**Zealit: **okay, I'll update!

**Jedi Knight Reven: **you'll recommend me? thanx so much! I can do longer. Maybe I'll drop by and read one of your fics sometime in the near future...

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

Anakin did everything Jango had taught him and breezed through the first seven targets with little resistance. The droid target, at 4500 meters, was difficult. His first, then his second shot missed the target completely and ricocheted off the _Slave I_.

"Concentrate," Jango said through the comm at Anakin's elbow. "Don't hit my ship again. It may decide to fire back."

Anakin looked up in alarm to see the _Slave I_'s laser cannons pointed at him. "Meep!"

Unknown to Anakin, Jango was actually controlling the cannons with the slave circuit he had installed. The boy was in no actual danger... but he didn't know that...

"Can you, um, get those cannons off me?"

"I'm not controlling them," Jango lied.

"That's comforting. What do I do if your ship decides to take potshots at me?"

Jango sounded deadpan through the comlink. "Dodge."

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

Boba sat with his mouth open. _Oh no, she didn't!_ rang through his mind.

"What?" Barriss looked amused. "We don't have class tomorrow, so its perfect."

"That- that- the- wha- but-"

"I thought it was a good idea," Barriss said innocently.

"But- but- wait, what?"

Barriss sighed. "Boys."

"You did what?"

"Tomorrow morning Master Windu is going to have an Afro."

Boba was stunned into silence yet again. Few things surprised him in this galaxy. Winning the sweepstakes was one. Barriss's maliciousness was another. "Why?"

"You're being stupid again. Did you forget what happened yesterday?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Master Windu deserves to have hair, don't you think?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"It can't be traced back to us, don't worry."

"Oh. Why didn't you say so in the first place?"

"Because I wanted to finish the whole plan, first."

Boba looked apprehensive. "There's more?"

Barriss laughed wickedly. "Oh yes. There's more. I bribed a friend to bribe a friend who bribed a Padawan who bribed a Crèchling to replace Master Windu's soap with, um," she smirked. "Blue dye."

"WHAT?"

Everyone in the cafeteria stared at Boba and Barriss, then turned back to their food.

"You're dying him _blue_?" Boba repeated in a whisper.

"Only temporarily," Barriss replied. "Mika," Boba reflexively looked around in alarm, "will set up a forcefield that will remove the dye when he steps through it, as well as the 'fro. But Windu won't know that..."

Boba found himself matching Barriss's grin. "You're pure evil, you know that?"

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

Anakin's his mouth dropped open in pure stupidity. _The Force_! How could he have forgotten?

_But that'd be cheating,_ a little voice told him.

_Shut up. It's only cheating if you get caught_.

_That is true... carry on._

Anakin found himself vaguely creeped out that the little voice was replying, but shrugged and focused on the target, using not the laser sight, but the Force. _Ha-ha! Score!_ He nailed the droid through the photoreceptor.

He reached out for the last target... but couldn't feel it. Nor could he feel Jango. A giant Force-resistant bubble seemed to encompass the target and the man next to it. _What the SITH?_

Anakin looked through the sight, looked up at the target, then back through the sight. _I don't get it!_

_Shouldn't have cheated, sucker,_ the voice taunted.

Anakin frowned at the voice, then heard another.

"You have five shots to hit this target," it was Jango's voice coming through the comlink. He grinned inside his helmet. Skywalker wouldn't be able to use his vaunted 'Force' with the ysalamiri's protective anti-Force bubble surrounding the target. "If even _one_ hits my ship... well, my eel is hungry."

Anakin's eyes widened. "Y-yes sir." He'd never focused harder on anything in his life as he did that target. His first shot went wild. His second clipped a horn on the Zabrak. His third _almost_ hit the _Slave I_, but missed by about a centimeter.

The laser cannons focused warningly on him. _No pressure_, Anakin thought, trying to ignore the cannons. His forth caused Jango to dive to the ground as the shot went through where his head had been.

"Fucking idiot Jedi scum!" Jango yelled at the comlink. "What are you, some kind of fucking _monkey-lizard_ in a human body!"

"Sorry." Anakin concentrated, _concentrated_-

and hit the _Slave I_.

"Sith!" Anakin screamed, dropping the laser rifle and running as the laser cannons fired at where he had been lying.

Jango frowned. He hadn't activated the cannons. He looked at his ship, then back at the remote.

The laser cannons retracted to face upward like they do when no one's using them.

Jango frowned harder. Either there was someone on his ship _(Impossible. I would know.)_ or the droid brain had acted by itself. "Skywalker!" he yelled at the comlink. "_Skywalker!_" he bellowed.

All that came from the comlink was ragged intakes of breath as Anakin ran, then nothing.

He sprinted down turbolifts and down halls, until he was so thoroughly _lost_ he didn't even know which way to go. And, being the idiot he is, _he had dropped the comlink_.

"Oh, Sith. This is bad."

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

"Is everything planted?" Barriss whispered to the comlink. She lay in the air vent above Mace Windu's quarters, which were coincidentally next to Obi-Wan and Boba's.

"Sure is," Mika replied, sitting on her bed in her quarters with a datapad on her lap. "Make sure you can see the doorway from your vantage point."

"I can."

"Executing Operation Blue Afro," Mika said.

"That's gay. The Afro isn't going to be blue."

"Yeah, well Operation Blue Man With Afro sounds gay-er."

"Ladies!" Boba whispered over his comlink.

"Sorry, my Master," Mika answered.

Boba was in the air vents above Windu's bathroom. His objective was to make sure the blue dye disguised as soap was removed and replaced with _real_ soap. "Stop calling me that!"

"Sorry, O Greatest Bounty Hunter of All Time."

Boba thought for a bit. "I like that one."

"Boba, are you in position?" Barriss whispered.

"I am to be addressed as the Greatest Bounty Hunter of All Time," Boba corrected haughtily.

Barriss bit her finger to keep from laughing. "Don't let her go to your head."

She heard Boba having as hard a time restraining a laugh as she was. "I'm in position," he answered. "Mika, did you activate Blue Afro yet?"

"Well I was going to until Barriss said-"

"Just do it!" Boba ordered.

"Yes, Greatest Bounty Hunter of All Time." Mika punched a command into her datapad. "Barriss, report."

"I saw something flicker in the doorway, then nothing."

"Good.The field isperfectly invisible."

"May the Force be with us," Barriss said.

"Windu is exiting the bathroom," Boba announced softly. "Holy Sith, he does has a 'fro and his skin is blue! He's looking in a mirror-"

A loud scream interrupted his narrative.

"Windu has seen the 'fro and is touching it to make sure it's actually there. He is rubbing his skin to see if it will come off. He is unsuccessful. Get ready, ladies, he's grabbing a bathroom and will be in your line of sight, Barriss."

"He's running toward the door," Barriss said, picking up the comentary. "Mika, he'll be there in three, two..."

Unknowingly, Windu ran through the forcefield. His skin abruptly turned dark brown and his Afro was left behind.

"He has cleared the field. Repeat, he has cleared the field," Barriss reported.

The forcefield flickered and died. "Deactivation successful," Mika announced. "Greatest Bounty Hunter of All Time, execute operation Recovery."

Boba clicked his comlink in confirmation. He pulled out Anakin's lightsaber and cut a circle, with the edges pointing inward. This way it would create a plug that he would be able to put back into place when done. Doing so, he anchored a piece of sythcord to the vent and dropped down into Windu's quarters.

He grabbed the soap and hurried to retrieve the Afro lying by the door like a dead thing. Boba gave a slightly mocking salute where he knew Barriss could see him, then went back to the bathroom, climbed up the sythcord, and put the plug back in place. "Operation Recovery is a success," he whispered.

"Yes!" Mika cheered. "Going off-line."

"Barriss, come on," Boba said through the comlink. "We don't want to get caught up here, do we?"

"Nope."

The two Jedi-in-training crawled through the vent and dropped down into Boba's bedroom.

"That was great!" Barriss exclaimed, giving Boba a light punch. "You were amazing, going down there!"

Boba shrugged.

Barriss frowned. "Why so serious? You look like your mooka died."

"I'm fine."

"You look nervous. Spit it out, what is it? It's not Mika, is it?"

"No."

"Well...?" Barriss cocked her head.

Boba took a deep breath. "Will you go out with me?"

**A/N: wow. This is a long chapter. I'm very proud of me. Beware of the next chapter: there will be dancing Kaminoans and clones! And will Barriss go out with Boba? And how will the Jedi Council respond to Windu's claims that he is, in fact, blue? Stay tuned!**


	9. X Files, Clones, and the macarena

**A/N: well, I've finally figured out how I want to write this chapter. (With some help from the X-Files!) Please enjoy! Also, if you've read Karen Traviss' 'Hard Contact' you'll recognize some characters. :P Don't worry if you haven't, no big deal.**

**Oh yes: for anyone who watched the show _Andromeda_: ha-ha, Drago-Katsov!**

**The Greatest Boba Fett Fan:** Cheese-Itz cure stupidity? Huh, I thought they just left a cardboard-like taste in your mouth. Hm, I'll remember that... :P Mace Windu scrub toilets. Now I've heard everything... Have I told you how much I love your screenname?

**vegemite:** what? At least MY Bobo isn't all bloated because the author won't give him his Maalox Max! _:Fat Bobo glares at vegemite:_ :P I was actually listening to that song while I wrote the first chapter of this, so... yeah. :P

**Zealit:** Thanx!

**Clone Trooper:** OMG, I absolutely love you screenname, please don't change it! (You're profile said you were. I think. I don't know, I was kinda skimming.) Really glad you liked it, and 'Beneath the Surface' too. Thanx! _:starts yelling:_ TRASH BAGS! I WANT TR-ASH BAGS! I'm sorry, I just remembered that for some reason. :P I have a feeling you're going to enjoy this chapter...

**Flare Conlon:** ha-ha, Fett-ish. I guess that would make us Fettishists:P He-he, dancing clones!

**A/N: this chappie is really uber-long because I'm off to Philly on Saturday and don't know when I'll be able to update next. (Not to mention I just couldn't find a point to END the damn thing!) Thanx for all the reviews!**

**And while you're here, check out the fic I'm writing with random-idiot-v2 called 'Boba Fett and the Holy Grail'. It's under my profile:)**

**All right, I'll stop babbling now...**

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi glanced around furtively. Master Yoda would likely slap his knuckles if he found out what Obi-Wan was reading- the transcribed version of _Fight the Future_. It was one of his favorite holos of all time, and yes, it was X-Files.

He felt like a Padawan again, tucked into a forgotten corner of the Jedi Archives with his knees pressed against his chest, reading his well-worn copy of _X-Files: Fight the Future_.

Oh yes, Obi-Wan had the limited-edition paperback version, with printed words and images on the cover. (He'd had it specially imported from the Unknown Regions!) He was also completely obsessed with one of the main characters, Special Agent Dana Scully.

What? He was a good Jedi Master, so he deserved his break from reality- plus, he had never been caught with it, not once. Not even Bant or Qui-Gon had known.

Anakin had finally figured it out when he stumbled across Obi-Wan's box of recorded episodes -all nine seasons- complete with full-size movie poster. Thus began their Master-Padawan dispute over Trading Spaces/X-Files.

But that's not important right now. What was important was the fact that he had just seen a dark brown blur rush past, screaming like a little girl in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Mace Windu.

Obi-Wan pocketed his book and went to investigate. On his way, however, a smarmy little man, with pale skin and greasy black hair stopped him. His nose was twitching like a mouse's... no, a rat's.

Obi-Wan tucked his hands into opposite sleeves for no better reason than it looked cool and inclined his head politely. "Can I help you?" You know, just _once_ he really wanted to snap 'Whadda'ya want?' but that probably wouldn't go over very well.

"I'm looking for Master Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi." The man's nose twitched again.

"_Jedi Master_," Obi-Wan corrected. "I am he."

The man held out his hand to shake; Obi-Wan carefully swallowed a wince at how sweaty the man's grip was and surreptitiously wiped his hand on his tunic.

"Master Kenobi, you may call me Drago."

'_You may'? Who does this guy think he is?_ Obi-Wan wondered disdainfully.

"I am here to inform you that due to the wishes of the designer of this sweepstakes, it is now to be known as 'Switch'. The designer, in her own words, described the previous name of Trading Families as 'gay'."

Obi-Wan's lips turned up in a small smile. "Interesting choice of words. And now you may leave, having delivered you message. A hologram would have been easier, but tell the designer I appreciate her thoughtfulness."

"Not yet." Drago stepped into Obi-Wan's way again. "I must speak with young Fett. Is he available?"

Obi-Wan was seriously beginning to dislike this man. He took a deep breath and attempted to release his disdain into the Force. It helped... a little. "That is none of your business. Please leave." He made a friendly gesture towards the door, but his eyes indicated that this was not a request. "I don't know what kind of establishment you think this is, Drago, but we do not simply barge in demanding to see Padawans."

Drago's eyes hardened for the briefest of seconds, then his head dipped. "I hear and obey, _Master_ Kenobi." He somehow turned the word 'Master' into a thing of filth.

"It's been a pleasure," Obi-Wan said dryly.

-xXx-

"AHHHHH!" Jedi Master Mace Windu screamed as he raced down various corridors of the Jedi Temple. "HELP MEEEEEE!"

"Master Windu?" Luminara Unduli stopped what she was doing and grabbed Windu's arm as he ran past.

"Look at me! _Look at me!_" Windu raved.

"And what exactly am I supposed to be seeing, my friend?"

"Look at my _hair_!"

"Yes, I see..." Luminara made a show of studying the man's scalp then smiled gently. "You're still bald."

"No! I'm not! _I have an Afro!_"

"Mm-hm." By now a passing group of Padawans had stopped and was staring. "Well, I'm sorry," Luminara said, suddenly anxious to get away. "But I remember I have to speak with...uh... Etain Tur-Mukan about, uh... her scores, yes..." she slowly began edging away.

"MY SKIN IS BLUE!" Windu screamed as Luminara rounded a corner and escaped.

Windu looked at the Padawans. "You see it, don't you!"

Wordlessly, the Padawans shook their heads. One took out a mini-holocam and took a picture of the raving Jedi Master.

Windu was distracted by the sight of a member of the Jedi Council and dashed after him. "Kit Fisto, my good friend! I need your help..."

-xXx-

Boba braced himself for what he knew was coming. _WHAM!_ Barriss smacked him hard, and Boba tumbled backward off the bed. "Ouch!"

"_That's_ for taking so long!"

Boba cautiously peeked over the side of the bed. "Huh?"

"You could have asked me sooner, but _no_, Bobo had take so freakin' _long_-"

"Don't call me Bobo!" Boba paused. "Wait, what did you say?"

"I said what took you so long?" Barriss glared at him.

Boba didn't know what to say. When he asked he assumed he would be slapped and Barriss would leave. This was different. And unexpected. And scary.

"Uhhhh..."

"Boba..." Barriss said warningly.

Boba looked like a deer in the headlights. "Uhhhh..."

He was saved from answering by Obi-Wan running through the door. "Boba there's a man who wants to see you. I have a bad feeling about him, but- oh, hello, Padawan Offee."

"Hello, Master Kenobi."

"Boba, why are you on the floor? And what happened to your face?" Obi-Wan added, seeing the red handprint.

"I fell."

"Yes, fell into a hand," Obi-Wan said dryly, already guessing what had happened.

"Ah, young Fett!" came a cry, and Drago waltzed in.

Obi-Wan looked like he was in pain. "Go away."

"I told you, I must speak with Fett before I leave!"

"No! Go away!"

Drago shoved his way past Obi-Wan, barged up to stand next to Boba and Barriss, and held out his hand to shake.

Barriss looked at it in revulsion. "Ever heard of washing your hands? 'Cause there's this miracle substance called _soap_..."

"What do you want?" Boba asked.

"I just need to ask you some questions, then I'll be on my way..."

"No."

"Question number one: Have you- wait, what did you say?" Drago looked up at him with beady little eyes.

"I said no. Master Kenobi asked you to leave, and leave you will." Boba looked at him calmly without blinking.

Drago began to be unnerved. "Now, there's no call for that..."

"You will leave," Boba said simply.

"I... yes..." Drago began to look flustered. Without another word he turned tail and left.

"You sure you don't have Jedi mind powers?" Barriss asked suspiciously.

Boba shrugged and grinned.

"Boba, Barriss, have you ever watched a show called _The X-Files_?"

"No."

"Nope."

Obi-Wan grinned like a little boy. "Oh, you don't know what you're missing! We'll start with the first episode..."

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

Anakin took a few tentative steps forward. "Um, hello?" he ventured.

His voice echoed off the shiny walls around him. _Hello-lo-lo-lo..._

"Creepy..."

_Creepy-pee-pee-pee..._

Anakin resolved to keep his mouth shut after that- then yelped as a man in bulky white armor dropped down in front of him from the ceiling. He fumbled for the blaster Jango had given him, but too late realized he had neglected to bring it.

"Relax, kid," the man said in a familiar voice. He pulled off the helmet to reveal...

"Jango Fett!" Anakin exclaimed in relief, lunging forward and wrapping his arms around the man's waist.

"No. I'm Atin." The man looked quite confused as he looked down at the boy.

"Huh?" Anakin then noticed the man had a large scar across his face and backed away.

Three more men in white armor dropped down from the air ducts above and pulled off their helmets.

"You're... you're..." Anakin's voice failed him as he looked at four near-identical Jangos. "Oooh." He fainted.

"Don't just stand there being so ugly, Atin," one said. "Let's get this civvie out of here."

"Darman's right," another said. "The Kaminoans'll be coming this way with their crazy dancing soon."

"Yeah, that'd just be cruel and unusual punishment, Niner."

"Shut up, Fi."

"Let's get him up into the ducts," Niner ordered. "Even if he _is_ a civilian, we can't leave him at the mercy of the Kaminoans."

"Right, Sarge," Darman said. "We'd better hurry. I can hear their _di'kutla_ parade coming this way."

"Look, Sarge," Atin said, pointing to Anakin's Padawan braid. "Jedi."

"What's a Jedi doing here?" Fi asked, giving the braid a second look.

Faintly they began to hear: _"Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-CHA! Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-CHA!"_

The clones looked up in horror. "The Kaminoans," Atin whispered.

"C'mon, get 'im outta here!"

-xXx-

"What do you want?" Jango demanded, highly irritated. First Anakin had run off and wasn't answering the comlink, now this greasy woman wouldn't leave him alone.

"I simply must speak with young Skywalker," the woman persisted.

"And you are..." Jango said. Not because he cared, but because the readers need to know.

"I am Katsov. Together with my partner Drago we are here on behalf of Trading Families, now know as 'Switch'."

Jango tuned her out and ignored her. The good thing about wearing a Mandalorian helmet was that no one could tell if he was actually listening. As of right now, he wasn't.

"Yoo-hoo! Are you listening to me?"

"No."

"I-need-to-speak-with-An-a-kin-Sky-walk-er," Katsov dragged out, as if saying it slower would make Jango care.

Jango waved a hand. "Go find him, then."

"You don't know where he is?"

"Nope. Now leave or I will command my ship to kill you." Jango held the remote warningly and hoped that the _Slave I_ would do what he told it this time.

"We will remember this, Jango Fett. Mark my words, the Drago-Katsov will remember this!"

"Shut up."

Katsov walked away in a huff. Jango didn't really care. As much as he hated to admit it, he was worried about Skywalker.

-xXx-

"Hey, civvie!"

Anakin woke up to a none-too-gentle smack in the face. He looked up and saw Jango Fett. Then he saw three more and blinked. "Ehhh." He fainted again.

"Why's he keep doin' that, Sarge?" one asked.

"'Cause Atin here's so-" Fi started.

"Shut up, Fi," Atin cut him off.

"He's probably never seen clones before," Niner answered. He smacked Anakin again. "Jedi, don't faint again."

"Ehhh?" Anakin blinked and saw the clones again. "Oooh." His head nodded.

"Don't even think about it, Jedi," Niner cautioned.

Anakin snapped awake and stared at the clones. Four confused faces stared back at him. "What the hell..."

"We're clones, Jedi. Of Jango Fett."

"Oooo-kay." Anakin frowned. "Um, hi."

"Hi!" Fi answered cheerfully. The other three just watched him.

"Um, why are you staring at me?"

"Because you're staring at us, civvie," Niner answered.

"Oh. Sorry." Anakin paused. "Why do you keep calling me 'Civvie'?"

"Civilian," a clone answered. "You got a name, kid?"

"Anakin Skywalker."

"I'm Niner."

"Fi."

"Darman."

"And the ugly one here is-" Fi started again.

"Shut up, Fi. I'm Atin."

"Ummm, what are you doing here?"

"We're Recon Commandos, Anakin."

"Oooh." Anakin nodded sagely. "Recon Commandos are the ones who clean out the air ducts, then."

Atin hit his head off the palm of his hand.

"We're hiding from the Kaminoans, Anakin," Darman explained. "They're doing their crazy dancing again."

"What do you mean?"

Niner gestured for Anakin to come over and look through the vent.

It was a congo line of Kaminoans. "Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-CHA! Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-CHA! Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-CHA!" they were chanting.

Anakin leaned back. "How many are there?" he whispered.

"The whole city," Darman said gravely. "Not to mention any of us that get caught in their way."

Anakin looked down again in time to see a clone enthusiastically chanting along.

"We think it's brainwashing," Fi whispered. "That one down there? That's Zeke, RC 531-991. He's with Gamma Squad. If he was in his right mind he'd never- wait, look! There's Blaze, Max, and Apollo, the rest of that squad!"

Anakin looked down to see three more clones in the congo line.

"Brainwashing," Fi repeated seriously.

"Company, halt!" came a shout over the loudspeakers in the wall.

Anakin breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh good. It's over then."

"Oh, no," Atin moaned. "They're not-"

"They are," Niner answered.

"They are what?" Anakin asked.

Below, the Kaminoans and clones separated from the line and made sure there was a foot between them and those around them.

"What's going on?" Anakin whispered in fear.

"Why _here_?" Fi grumbled.

Below the Kaminoans were doing a strange dance that involved much weaving of the hands and body.

"What is it?" Anakin whispered.

Fi looked nauseous.

"The macarena."


	10. Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom Doom

**A/N: I HAVE RETURNED! Wow, so many reviews...**

**I got the idea for Mace Windu from watching an episode of MadTV, so you already know he's doomed! **

**Christina B**: well... okay, I _suppose_ so... :P

**The Greatest Boba Fett Fan:** I actually like the macarena, but I couldn't think of anything else, so... yeah. I thought about having them line-dance... :P We should SO send Anakin back to Tatooine!

**Jedi Knight Reven:** thanx so much! What kind of SW fanfic do you write? (Pre-Clone Wars, post RotJ, NJO, etc...) That's a very good question... "HEY PEOPLE! WHY DON'T I HAVE 50 REVIEWS, YET?" :P Really? I've never seen SG-1, but I love Atlantis, so I have _Barriss_ as the Gate fan.

**vegemite:** glad you liked it! Ah, yes, Momo and Mill... _:Boba looks up in terror and hides from Mill:_ yes, anyone reading this IS probably like WTF? I lover your reviews! They make me grin. :P You seem like the kind of peron who would like this... I'm writing a story called 'Boba Fett and the Holy Grail' that I think you would like. Check it out if you have a chance!

**Flare Conlon:** we should start a c2: 'Fettishists'. :P no, I'm joking. I'd never have the patience to run one of those...

**Jamieson Z:** thanx for coming! ha-ha, Drago-Katsov! Bizarre is the word; you're right about that!

**A/N: thanks for your patience, everyone, but once again, I AM out of funny ideas. I can't think of anything! HELP ME, OBI-WAN KENOBI! YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE! Wait, never mind, I only got his voicemail... damn. REVIEWERS! PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO READ BUT DON'T REVIEW! I NEED IDEAS!**

**Whoa... I have ten chapters already... **

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

Boba sat on the couch, bored. "Can we please put the show back on?" he requested.

Next to him, Obi-Wan and Barriss were engaged in deep discussion over whether X-Files was a better show than Stargate: Atlantis.

"You've never even seen the original!"

"So? Atlantis is better, I don't need to watch SG-1!"

"Yes, but the X-Files deals with the alien colonization of a low-tech planet-"

"So? We know that could never happen."

"Yes, but it deals with the inherent corruption in government systems!"

"Yes, but Stargate Atlantis has Asgard!"

"Yeah, so? X-Files has the-"

"Shut up, both of you!" Boba yelled.

"Don't yell at me or I won't go out with you!"

Boba and Barriss suddenly froze and looked at Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan simply grinned. "Which one of you asked first?"

"Huh?" Boba looked confused. Barriss was flushed a deep red.

"Who asked who?"

"Uh, that would be, uh... me," Boba said finally, looking down.

"I know Jedi aren't supposed to-" Barriss started.

Obi-Wan looked at her quizzically. "Says who?"

"Uh, the Jedi Code forbids-"

"Attachment, yes I know." Obi-Wan rested his bearded chin on his hands, then snapped his fingers. "Boba, get me the copy of the Jedi Code from my quarters."

"Um, why, sir?"

Obi-Wan grinned. "It's time to find a loophole."

-xXx-

"Look in the mirror, you will," Yoda said firmly.

Mace Windu was hiding in a corner, trying not to be noticed. "No, I don't wanna look, I don't wanna! Blue skin, blue skin!"

A Chiss Padawan looked at him quizzically with glowing red eyes. "Master Windu, _I_ have blue skin, not you!"

"Padawan Naganna, leave you will," Master Yoda ordered.

Naganna nodded and left.

"Master Yoda?" Windu whispered, looking up fearfully.

"Yes, Mace?"

"Am I a Chiss-human hybrid?"

Yoda rapped his Gimer stick against Mace's knuckles. "Look in the mirror, you will!"

"NO!" Windu shrieked. "No lookie, no lookie!" He moved his hands around in front of his body. "Brick wall!"

Yoda sighed. "Look in the mirror, you will!"

"I can't hear you!" Windu announced, stuffing his fingers in his ears.

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

"Don't make a sound," Niner whispered. "They'll hear us..."

Anakin suddenly grabbed his nose. "I'm gonna sneeze," he whispered.

Fi clapped his hand over Anakin's nose-

And Atin sneezed.

They all froze stock-still as the Kaminoans stopped dancing below.

"We are so dead," Fi moaned.

"DOOM. DOOM. DOOM. DOOM," the Kaminoans chanted as one reached up for the vent. "DOOM. DOOM. DOOM. DOOM. DOOM."

"Clear off!" came a yell. A man in blue-and-gray Mandalorian armor shouldered his way forward and shoved away the one reaching for the vent. "Skywalker?"

"Yeah?" came a tentative answer from the ceiling.

"Get down. I won't let them get you."

"But they'll get my friends," Anakin's disembodied voice said through the vent.

Jango sighed. What was it now? Another big worm? Dust nerfs? "Who're your friends, Anakin?"

"Your clones."

"Well, get them down here too."

"Okay."

Anakin removed the vent, and he and the four clones clambered down.

"Let's go, Skywalker," Jango snapped. "Don't run off again." He grabbed Anakin's arm and stalked away, leaving poor Darman, Fi, Atin, and Niner in the middle of the Kaminoans.

As soon as the sounds of Jango and Anakin's footsteps faded away, the Kaminoans looked at each other and began closing in.

The four looked around warily.

"DOOM. DOOM. DOOM. DOOM. DOOM. DOOM."

Anguished screams rang down the corridor.

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

Obi-Wan looked up triumphantly. "I have it! Barriss, you just can't let Boba get in the way of your Padawan responsibilities and duties."

Barriss gave Boba a hug. "Thank you, Master Kenobi."

Boba gave out a happy whoop.

Then Barriss's comlink went off. "Barriss, are you there? Barriss, come in."

"Master Luminara," Barriss whispered. She activated it. "Yes, Master?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm, uh, with Master Kenobi and Boba."

"There's something wrong with Master Windu," Luminara said into the comlink. She was standing behind a wall and peeking around the corner.

Barriss and Boba tried not to laugh. "Really, Master? What's he doing?"

"He seems to think his skin is blue like a Chiss, and that he has an Afro."

"Really?" Next to her, Boba was turning red and tears were popping from his eyes. Obi-Wan looked at him, puzzled. "I'll be there right away."

"No, I'd stay away," Luminara said dryly. "I just thought I'd let you know."

"Yes, Master." Barriss deactivated the comlink and burst out laughing.

Obi-Wan looked at them both suspiciously. "Why do I get the feeling that you two had something to do with this?"

That only generated more laughter.

-xXx-

"Look in the mirror, you will!"

"Why?"

"Because see you will that your skin is not blue!"

"Why?"

"Stop acting like a child, you will!"

"Why?"

"A leading member of the Jedi Council, you are!"

"Why?"

"Voted in, you were."

"Why?"

"Showed much skill in the Jedi ways, you did!"

"Why?"

**A/N: It's official... I am completely insane! But I need ideas... Mace ideas, Anakin ideas, Boba ideas... anything! PLEASE! OMG, I START HIGH SCHOOL NEXT TUESDAY! **_:runs and hides:_


	11. Telling Luminara and the Clones' Fate

**A/N: the elevator music is 'Listen to Your Heart' by DHT. I don't HATE that song, but it seemed like the kind of elevator music that would be played on Kamino. And that clones would hate. (Well, most clones. Fi is the exception, as usual.)**

**Flare Conlon:** no, I don't think I can do either of those... I can't have Boba accused of attempted murder against Mace Windu, now can I:D

**MidniteDarkness**: hey! You have a very cool screenname, I love it! and kudos on the shirt Flare told me about...

**random-idiot-v2**: heyo, KC! I need you to write more Boba Fett and the Holy Grail for me! PLEASE?

**The Greatest Boba Fett Fan**: _:mouth drops open:_ YIKES! now I totally feel for ya:( Oh. Uh-oh... I didn't even think about Jango's reaction yet... I suggest poor little Boba find a bomb shelter... Yes, but the clones return! YAY!

**Jamieson Z**: well, you're awfully good at angst, so I can't say that's a fault... BUT I WILL! No, I'm kidding... whoa, the sugar rush from the ice cream cone just kicked in, can you tell? ha-ha, HERMIOD! I love that little Asgard! I'll have to think about that... btw, thanx for reviewing '90 Seconds':D

**YAY! L.C. BROTHERTON HAS COME! YAY! THIS GIRL IS WRITING ONE OF THE BEST ANDROMEDA FANFICTIONS SINCE SILVER SPIDER'S 'INVICTUS'!**

**L.C. Brotherton**: yay, you came! I told you you'd like it... :D I'm glad you like the 'Hard Contact' guys, they're my favorite, and I just can't get rid of them... Jedi smurf... now if I ever watch the prequel trilogy I'm going to think of that... :P Review again! Wait, I don't have to ask that, you always do anyway! Is there any chance of having more 'Long and Winding Road' anytime soon? Oh, yeah, and thanx for reviewing 'Letter' and '90 Seconds':D

**Okay, I'm done babbling, and the dreaded high school starts tomorrow, so... here's part eleven!**

-xXx- ? –xXx-

"Drago, how did the encounter with Kenobi and little Fett go?" Katsov frowned at her partner. The two were in a dingy one-room apartment. The only features were the table with two wooden chairs and a single, uncovered glowpanel.

"You mow, disen totawee sphereopicical," Drago answered through a mouthful of spaghetti. He swallowed. "Sorry. This is totally stereotypical. We don't even have a TV!"

"Did Kenobi believe that you were really from 'Switch'?" Katsov demanded, losing her patience.

Drago nodded, choosing not to speak with his mouth full again.

"Good. Now, you know what the question is today?" Katsov slammed her hand on the table as Drago shook his head. "Of course you don't, I haven't told you yet!"

"Oweh."

"The question today is: 'How am I going to hurt the Fetts today?'" Katsov announced happily.

"Oweh-kay. Why?"

Katsov stopped and gave Drago the death glare. "You know why," she said dangerously.

"Oweh _weah_! Ee's donwe da-"

"CHEW YOUR FOOD!" Katsov screamed, lunging across the table at her partner.

Drago swallowed in fear and began choking.

Katsov ignored him. "We will hurt Jango and Boba Fett beyond their wildest _nightmares_ of pain!" she continued fanatically. "They'll _beg_ for mercy as father and son!" She finally noticed her partner. "DRAGO!" she screamed. "STOP CHOKING!"

Finally managing to swallow, Drago stood up, military straight and saluted. "Yes, sir!"

"We're going to kidnap someone close to little Fett!"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"When little Fett comes looking for him, we'll capture little Fett!"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"Then went old Fett comes looking for little Fett, we kill him!"

"Sir, yes, sir!

"Any questions?"

"Sir, yes, sir! Wait, I mean, sir, no, sir! Wait, I meant-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Sir, yes, sir! What do we do about Skywalker, sir?"

"KILL HIM!"

"Sir, no, sir!"

"What did you say?" Katsov demanded angrily.

"If we kill the Jedi, the whole Temple will come after us, sir!"

"Well... We'll bring him with us!"

"Sir, yes, sir! Ummm, they already know me in the Temple, so I kinda can't go back..."

"Well wait for them to go _outside_ the Temple, dipshit."

"Oh. Can I sit down now?"

"NO! Leave for Coruscant immediately!" Katsov grinned evilly. "I'll take care of Skywalker."

-xXx- KAMINO –xXx-

Anakin sat on the edge of his bed, swinging his feet. "I'm bored already."

"I shouldn't be gone for long," Jango told him. "I have to go on an assignment."

"You mean a bounty hunt. Can I come?"

"You're a Jedi. No, you can't."

"What am I supposed to do while you're gone?"

"Practice using the blaster and the sniper rifle. Do Jedi stuff. I'll be gone for about four days."

"Okay."

Jango put on his helmet and keyed the door. "Don't get into trouble while I'm gone."

"Yes, sir."

Jango left, and Anakin was bored. He picked up two of Boba's starfighters and began making engine and laser blast noises. Fifteen minutes later, he was bored again. He lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

Then, Anakin jolted up and fell of the bed as someone pushed the buzzer for the door. "Ouch!" He stood up and wandered toward the door, absently wondering if Jango had forgotten his blaster or something. The door hissed open, but there was no one there.

Anakin stared in confusion, looked up and down the hall, and then closed the door again. He turned around and saw a woman standing a few centimeters from his nose. "Ah! The Grudge!" he screamed, seeing her dank black hair and pale skin. He reached for the blaster at his side and got off one shot that missed completely.

The dank-looking, greasy woman stabbed him in the neck with a tranquilizer dart, grabbed him under the arms and dragged him away down the hall.

-xXx-

Jango was on his way to the _Slave I_ when he was stopped by four men in shiny white clone armor. "Sir?" one asked.

"What is it?" he demanded.

"We just wanted to thank you for distracting the Kaminoans so we were able to escape, sir."

"Ah. You're welcome."

"Sir, may we speak with Jedi Skywalker?"

"Sure." Jango smiled at them (they wouldn't be able to see it through the mask, anyway) and gave them his address. His clones seriously creeped him out, but maybe they would be able to keep Skywalker from getting into trouble while he was gone.

-xXx-

Fi, Niner, Atin, and Darman walked down the hall on the way to Jango's apartment.

"This should be it," Atin said. The four clones stopped in front of an apartment with the door left open.

"That's weird," Darman said.

"Yeah, why would Jango Fett or Jedi Skywalker leave the door open?" Niner wondered.

Fi walked a few steps forward and held up one gloved hand. "Smell that?" he asked, for once losing his sarcastic demeanor and speaking seriously. "Ozone. Someone fired a blaster. And I don't think it was Jango Fett."

In unison, the Recon Commandos reached for their DC-17s. "Darman, Fi, and I'll go in," Niner's orders were only audible over their helmet-to-helmet link. "Atin, you check the hallway."

Cautiously, the three entered the room and split up to search the apartment. "Clear!" Darman called.

"Clear," the others echoed.

Niner went into the security recordings and saw the _Slave I_ already lifting off. No help would be coming from Jango Fett. He rewound back and saw a woman dragging Anakin away.

Atin jogged in to join them. "There're skid marks going down the hallway all the way to the turbolift."

"What do we do, Sarge?" Darman asked Niner.

"He's a Jedi," Atin answered. "It's our duty to rescue Anakin."

"Well, let's go then!" Fi announced.

They followed the skid marks all the way to the turbolift. Once inside, they were at a loss as to what to do next.

"What floor would they take him to?" Atin asked, as elevator music began playing.

Darman stared at the buttons, then finally pushed one. "They'll take him offworld," he said as lift started rising. "The landing platform."

They were silent, and the only sound was the doleful music. _"Listen your heart/ when he's calling for you/ listen to your heart/ there's nothing else you can do..._

Fi took off his helmet and cocked his head. "Hey, I like this song." He began singing along. "I don't know where you're going/ and I don't know why-"

"SHUT UP, FI!"

Mercifully, the doors opened, Fi replaced his helmet, and they charged out onto the platform in the pouring rain... just in time to watch the ship take off.

Atin grabbed for his pack and threw a tracking device to it, and it stuck to the ship's hull.

They watched the ship take off into the stormy clouds above.

Darman looked at the others. "Now what?"

-xXx- CORUSCANT –xXx-

Barriss, Boba, and Master Kenobi had had a serious discussion on whether to tell Master Unduli, but Kenobi had eventually decided that it would make life easier in the long run.

So they made Obi-Wan tell her.

The two Padawans stood outside and watched as a giant Force push threw Obi-Wan back through the door. "That's not funny, Obi-Wan!" Luminara shouted, stalking out in the hallway after him.

Obi-Wan elbow-crawled backward, not taking his eyes off the other Jedi Master until the wall halted his retreat. "Barriss! Boba!" he yelled. "Help!"

It had taken _serious_ convincing, not to mention a huge shouting match between the two females. Obi-Wan and Boba watched it like a tennis match.

"Ten credits that Luminara forbids Barriss to go," Obi-Wan whispered.

"You're on," Boba whispered back.

Fifteen minutes later, it was over, and Boba grinned. "Pay up," he ordered Obi-Wan.

Both women turned as one and glared. "You were placing _bets_ on us?" Luminara asked, looking angrily at Obi-Wan.

"Umm... RUN AWAY!" Obi-Wan shouted, and he and Boba sprinted away screaming.

They passed Mace Windu and Yoda on their flight, and the sound of the two's screaming snapped Windu out of it. The two Jedi Masters stared after them, mystified. Then they saw Barriss and Luminara running after them, almost running over poor Master Yoda.

Boba and Obi-Wan ran into a supply closet and hid... then discovered that they weren't the only ones in there. They saw two glowing red eyes and froze. "AHHH!"

"Chill, people, I'm a Chiss," came a female voice.

"Oh." As their eyes adjusted to the dim light, they saw that it was indeed a Chiss.

"Padawan Shiredan," Obi-Wan said familiarly. "I, ah, didn't know that it was you."

The Chiss gave him a wry salute, then looked at Boba. "I'm Naganna Shiredan."

"Boba Fett."

"What are you guys hiding for?" she asked.

"You first," Obi-Wan said.

Naganna grimaced. "I waxed the floor outside the Jedi Council room." She imitated the various Jedi Masters. "Wee! Ahhh! Weee! AHHH!"

"So _you're_ the one behind the floor-waxing every week," Obi-Wan said wonderingly.

"Except Master Windu wasn't there," she added thoughtfully.

Boba kept his face carefully straight. "I wonder why."

"Who are you guys hiding from?"

"His girlfriend and her Master," Obi-Wan said, jabbing a finger at Boba.

"Obi-Wan!"

Naganna winced. "Ouch. Don't worry about it, kid," she told him. "At least half the people in the Jedi Temple are going out with each other."

Obi-Wan's jaw dropped. "What?"

"You didn't hear it from me, though."

"Where does everyone go?" Boba asked.

Looking suspiciously at Obi-Wan, Naganna wrote something on a piece of flimsiplast and passed it to Boba.

Boba unfolded it and held it by the door for the maximum amount of light. _You can get street clothes from NagaCorp. You and your girl drop by my quarters before you go. I'll recommend you to some places when you come._ He folded it back up and put it in his pocket.

Obi-Wan looked at her. "How come I don't know any of this?"

"You're a Master. This information is for Knights and Padawans only," Naganna looked at him again. "Why? Do you have a girlfriend too?"

"No!"

**A/N: uh-oh! Anakin is kidnapped, and the only people who know it have no ship to follow him offworld! And what about Boba's date? Will it be cut short by the plots of the Drago-Katsov? stay tuned!**


End file.
